Now, tht you read this…
go mediate and heal and find your why?
why did you love? why do you love? why did you choose to not take your life? why do you keep breathing? why do not choose death and dream a better life?
and we could go on and on and never stop asking why? the moment you choose to stop asking why, you accepted someone else’s reasons why they should be in control and they don’t even know why themselves. its funny and joyful when you listen to your parents tell you all the reasons and also tell you not to ask why because they gave you a reason.
And, then, the punk kid is born through the lovingly abusive control of reasons the authority gives but cannot even ansewr why they do this because they are rebelling themselves and forgot what is was like to forgiving, loving, innocent, (write edit this rfor more)…
yes, a behavior therapist tells me she’s rebel; was this more than one and was this before she called me a punk. and i say to her, “well, rebel that’s why us punks are here.” this coming from a mental health behaviorial therapist trying to get me to recover from a mental disease or mental illness which i told her i was born this way.
born this way… hahahahah haha
and the department of mental health says, it’s my fault i’m homeless yet wont give me a reason why. yet, i’m an out of work truck driver i choose to give up on my passion for music for more practical career because come on haoving autism, dsylexia, adhd and accepting it but not wanting to be different i choose music and trucking and well, trucking you can roll solo down the road and sleep in the bunk and shower in a lovely private shower room and then, eat a cooked meal. this sbecause i was kicked out twenty years ago and didn’t know why.
so, technically i have been homeless for over twenty years being successful and hoping one day i can get in the truck and have home of my own and maybe a family but, really, at this point i don’t know what famility or friends are. funny i can always be a friend when they need a friend and its nice i’m thinking but, really they were just using me. and i had a friend wehn i was seven but lost him due to a curse.
haha a curse
but curses aren’t real they say. haha! the relgious cult i was born into didn’t believe in heaven and said hell was just the common grave. well, i would believe now after hearing this that, “do we even die?” why belive in heaven or hell if all these places are death?” and then, consciousness awareness was born in me but, denial of the pain of loss keeps me down. so, why be down? why deny? get the fuck over it and let the fuck go! accept thte grief and all the denial, anger, guilt or bargaining, depression and finally just accept the loss and realize that you gave all you can and realzie that its just the other person jealous and envious and hateful.
love your haters all those celebrities say
we have to love our haters because it must be a lot of work to make lots of problems and gossipping discussing meetings for this. shoot! its sad though when you get paid people involved to then have the tax payers pay for all this. when will this end because after 43 years of all my life and those generations and the histroy before me, this has been some long mother fucking grief. longer than 2000 years when god sacraficed himself.
why did god have to sacrafice for the giref of past history? that’s another blog post for another day
Portofolio for Jared Edward Harden 
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